I assume that we all trust our instincts pretty consistently, because if it’s your instinct then obviously it feels right. Which makes it that much more confusing when our gut ends up being wrong. It’s like my Starbucks barista who had a crush on me. I was convinced he was in love with me. I mean it was a free vanilla pump here, a grande for the price of a tall there. The perks were a real lift to my morning. But I was starting to feel sorry for this guy being so obsessed with me. It was sad. Every time I came in, he would be so excited, he couldn’t help but to smirk at me a little. Of course he knew my order by heart, and sometimes would have it ready by the time I walked in because he saw my car driving into the lot. Clearly I was so cute and charming I was a hazard to stable relationships. Did I mention he had a wedding ring on? What an asshole. That poor wife sitting at home, supporting his need to be a barista while he pursues his acting dreams… all the while he is lusting over me and she has no idea. I was allowing it to go on. The flirting was inappropriate. I started to hate him on behalf of all the women out there being cheated on, but the attention was too good. I never turn down flattery. I was basically teasing him at this point. It needed to stop. And then one day he took out his cell phone when the manager wasn’t looking and motioned for me to come closer… “Hey, you wanna see a picture of my husband?”

It hit me hard. My ego was bruised. I’m pretty sure I looked offended when he showed me the picture although of course I said, “omg yes!! adorable!”.

I mean who did I think I was, making up this story in my head that this guy was borderline stalking me? I was ashamed. Was I that out of touch? I thought I was such hot shit, and now I was that sad girl in the booty shorts with cellulite hanging out, thinking that everyone was staring at me because they’re jealous and might possibly offer me a modeling contract.

When our gut is wrong, it messes with our emotional equilibrium. It’s funny though because I don’t think it deters us from listening to it again the next time. It feels so right!

The moral to this story is that there are too many gay guys in Los Angeles.

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